My Tips and Advice Column

Contacting other swingers online

1) Regarding Instant Messages and Email...when contacting someone online for the first time, don't be aggressive right off the bat... Don't start off your letter or message with "I want to f*** your p**** and have you s*** me while I shove my finger up your a** and my c*** is this long"! First of all, you don't know the person well enough to talk like that and most who take that approach either get the IGNORE button or their letter is clicked to the trash immediately! Be a gentleman and use common sense. Introduce yourself, describe yourself, ask polite questions, and see where it leads... You wouldn't walk up to a woman on the street and talk trash, so don't do it online.

2) Photos help garner a response from others, but one common mistake a lot of men make is just sending shots of their manhood...BO-RING! It doesn't give the lady a correct idea of what you look like... If you want to protect your privacy, take a body shot with your face blanked out or wear sunglasses or a hat. Just don't send a penis pose, women get them all the time and its not as impressive as you think! We want to see as much of you as possible, even if you are fully clothed... This also applies to women, show more then a body part and you will get a better response from others.

3) Privacy and discretion is VERY IMPORTANT and should be respected by all. To keep your email discreet, establish a free anonymous mail address (like Yahoo or Hotmail). Don't give away any personal info. If you attend a sexual party and you learn someone's online handle or real name, DON'T SHARE IT ONLINE WITH OTHERS!!!! THIS IS A SERIOUS BREACH OF TRUST AND RESPECT THAT COULD LEAD TO PROBLEMS!!! Ask permission about posting whatever info you want first... Most like to be discreet and don't want to be barraged by tons of unwanted mail and instant msgs from strangers.

Respect and common sense should be easy folks.... Don't do anything that could endanger the privacy of others, or cause them unnecessary grief... We all want to party, but we want to feel safe doing it. A privacy breach could have a million unwanted consequences.

Shaving Tips

This applies to those who are both partially and fully shaved... To keep it looking smooth and free of red bumps, be diligent about shaving everyday! Day old stubble isn't sexy and scratches during sex or oral. Shaving daily helps your body to stay used to to hair being removed. I recommend a good men's razor (they shave closer) like the ones with removable blades (like MACH 3). Shaving cream is better then soap too, as soap becomes slippery and the blade wont pick up the hair. Do not shave directly before sex, as this is what causes the red bumps... When you shave, you open up pores and friction will cause the redness! Wait an hour before sex or an activity that has to do with touching the area (this also holds true to exotic dancers who do lap dancing). After you shave, apply an ointment like Neosporin to the area to help seal the pores against infection and irritation. If you don't have Neosporin,  here is an old dancer trick....apply stick anti- perspirant...thats right...it works...and you wont get those red bumps.

Sex during your period

This is a sensitive subject...what to do if you want to have sex but its that time of the month and you don't want to make a mess. I am going to share a secret I was told by other porn actresses who were faced with that dilemma when filming. Go to a crafts store, pick up a mass of sea sponge (home depot carries them... People use them a lot for painting), break off a medium sized portion, boil to sterilize and soften, then drain away excess water and insert. Viola! No mess! Don't worry, you will be able to get it out later... Sponges are very absorbent and will soak up mass amounts of liquid. When the sex is over, just remove and throw away.

Sex in Adult Theaters

Many people are attracted to the idea of extending their playtime to a adult theatre setting. The prospect of anonymous sex is a fantasy for both sexes. I strongly advise against ANY female going alone into a theatre, especially late at night to play (it is like tossing a rabbit to a den of hungry wolves!). Always go with an escort of some kind (contact the Tampa Bukkake Crew)! That way while you play, someone can keep a lookout for you and keep the overly aggressive men at bay. Men, if you bring your wives or female friends, it is important that you stay alert at all times while the female is playing. Be her security guard! If someone gets out of line, reprimand them immediately and make them back off. Before playing in a theatre setting, investigate as many as possible to see which one suits your standards...is the theatre clean? nice seating? couple friendly? What kinds of people do you encounter there? The investigating will be well worth it later when you play. For the ladies who play, please keep in mind that at all times YOU are in control! Do not afraid to assert yourself. If someone approaches you or touches you in a way you don't want, tell them so! It is your body and you shouldn't have to tolerate any unpleasantries for the sake of wanting fun. Don't be afraid to voice the rules of the game upfront if approached by anyone... It actually helps them to know what is allowed and what isn't and saves you from having to become offended.

For the men who play: If you happen to be in a theatre at a time that a couple enters and starts to play, be courteous  and aware that playing with a couple is a privilege, not a right! Be a gentleman and polite. Use a no pressure approach. Slow and easy, ask before you touch what isnt yours. Use protection with anyone you meet and refrain from playing with those that don't use protection (the hand for a minute is better then AIDS the rest of your life). If others around the lady start to get pushy or aggressive, speak in her defense! Once the play is over, Thank the couple for allowing you to play... This will encourage them to come back (or get your number for private play elsewhere).

Phoenixxx's guidelines on Theater play
What I did and how it worked!

I used to go to theatres and this is how it was... I would go in with my boyfriend, we would find a seat in the dark theater and then he would get up to go buy a coke. By the time he got back, I would be surrounded by men! I would then politely tell the men what was allowed. Have them line up, and if they didn't have protection, to go get it, or else no play. One by one everyone was satisfied... If someone got pushy, I would tell them to get in the back of the line as punishment and cool off. If someone was satisfied and wanted to go for round 2, they would have to get in line again, that way at least everyone got one chance, and no one was allowed to hog all the action for long periods of time. If I encountered a fellow that I could physically tell was not going to be able to finish, I would ask that fellow after 10 minutes to take a break and start on someone else. That way it kept the flow going and his ego wouldn't be bruised by his lack of performance... It saved face! I used the number of men around me as security, they would back me up if someone got rude! By the way, if the lady you are playing with is doing oral on you, a flavored condom is always a huge plus...and NEVER put on a condom that is coated in spermicide for her to do oral play (tastes AWFUL and it makes your mouth numb)! Condoms with special tips aren't too great either (almost trigger your gag reflex). Cumming in a ladies hair is pretty rude (unless she says it's ok, don't do it) Drunks, people on drugs, or those that I could tell were unwashed were those in the theatre that I avoided, so keep that in mind. Being clean and sober is essential. Theatres are always busiest at late hours, especially on the weekends. If you don't want the potential of a feeding frenzy, or just want too ease into things slowly, go during the day or early night during the week. Things to take inside the theatre: hair scrunchy, condoms, a wet rag in a plastic bag (clean-up), lube and baby wipes for clean up!

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